return to sender
Libby Foster
iridescence | Kathleen Kelly | Suminagashi paper marbling, brush pens, and digital collage
did the light in my arms
distort the darkness
bruises blotched in blue
paint me a postcard
of the place you promise
the shadows won’t find you
whispered when you left
look back
only bright
when your world turns black
Interview with the Author
What was the inspiration for this piece?
Throughout my adolescence, I found myself drawn to toxic relationships. I was in a constant cycle of blaming myself for others’ mental health problems. I tried to become an escape for boys who wanted to escape life and could never fully be in love as a result. Inevitably, these boys would leave me in an emotionally exhausted state. After each of these breakups, I spent months wondering what would finally bring them happiness, and I concluded that they could only be joyful if the world turned as bleak as their outlooks.
What was your creative process?
I initially wrote this poem during my junior year of high school after an especially bad breakup. I wrote letter after unsent letter to a boy I knew would never write back. I imagined him traveling the world with someone else, and the phrase “paint me a postcard” echoed in my head. I revisited this poem during my freshman year of college to accompany a photograph I had taken, and I was able to add more honest imagery and commentary in hindsight. I added the stanza “only bright/when your world turns black” at this time to highlight how toxic individuals can only thrive in equally as toxic of environments.